music

I can remember where I was when John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated, even though at the time I had no idea what assassinated meant, other than my mother fell to her knees sobbing while she was ironing the clothes standing behind the couch I was playing in front of, while watching Felix the Cat, a cartoon I despised for its pure stupidity, but watched anyway....not sure why....Most people are able to remember where they were when Neal Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin landed on the moon... I remember things I felt and the who, why, what and when it happened by songs....there was a time in my life when I could relate to this song, in about every way she sings about....love in the nick of time...bonnie raitt.... it first came out right after I left BRC, the first stanza was our relationship .... and it was wanting children, (me) that ended the relationship, four years after a severe stabbing of the heart, and after I got over the bleeding part,  I stayed another four years, and I discovered that I was quit piqued...problem was, it was at both ME and him.... men, whata pita and women too... life IS a bitch sometimes....I think to my newborn grandson, and back to the child that was taken from me, his insistence but my choice, I could have stopped it I guess, instead chose to say I did what I did because of him and blamed little of it on my very own choice...and it was my choice now wasnt it? Despite the threats of leaving me, of promises of complete avoidance, of abandonment, I chose his choice, and a condition of acquiescening and telling him I did what I was against because I loved him. this is one of those moments that belong in that fuxed up blog...:(
now fast forward, good songs never go bad, once you like them as a hit, you always like them, and I think you relate to a song by what you remember the words to be...
well now i relate and sing the song all for the last verse....its impossible not to remember why I once related so well to the first verse, but that last one, all those pains in life, all those worries, then you meet someone who does everything they can to help you forget that crap that happened earlier in life... and they really love you.... ever had that? where you always thought about someone that you loved?... did the simple act of holding hands turn you on? you lay in bed and want the light dimly lit so you can see into their eyes, when the body no longer looks like it did when you were 20 or even 30, and that matters not, it is something about the eyes, where you look into your lovers eyes, searching for their soul and you can actually see it, and that gaze takes you to another place, where nothing in the outside world can attain any type of closeness, and you talk about anything share everything that pops into your head as it becomes a thought,  and during that conversational intercourse, you make love and then talk again, and where recalling any of it from your memory, always makes your entire body flush with anticipation of the next time? Can you imagine it an every day occurrence? Where you hold hands and laugh and talk and share then make love every single day for the remainder of your life? imagine falling asleep in the arms of the person you are in love with....imagine holding hands being a great turn on.......
okay so many already have that... and you have no idea just how lucky you are... i just found that, and it is for the first time in my life...
now fancy that....except i dont have it every day..........
but I want it every day...............
have to work on that part.....
now fancy that .....