MPM and BRC

those who read this that do not know me are more than likely wondering about the married but single comment...i married MPM in december of 90 for all the wrong reasons and we have not had a relationship in over 17 years now... we have lived apart and then together and then apart and then together over and over and over... his first love in life is beer, use to be coors, now is budlight, about 3 or 4 18 packs a day, more if he has friends drinking with him, and i dont drink...use to hate him, got over that, now feel absolutely nothing...dont ask why i stayed so long i dont have an answer but many excuses, none of them make any sense, just used them as my comfort zone to drop out of life... transferred that hate i once had towards him to myself... not a good place to be but i was comfortable in my misery........ we never really had a loving husband wife relationship, in twenty years, we have never spent a night together in the same bed, he worked graveyard and when i worked i worked swing shift....he loves chicken thighs, i hate them, i love pork chops and steak and roasts, he doesnt, he eats turkey, i hate it love ham and prime rib, he doesnt, if opposites do attract we should be stuck with super glue, but we aren't........divorce is on the way here soon and everyone will be happier... i cannot live with the alcoholic that he always has been and to save my life, it is time to end this farce i have been hiding in...he often says to me "i know you hate me" but he is wrong, i dont have any hate towards him anymore, i have a feeling of void...i met MPM on the same date that i had met BRC, i agreed to meet a friend at a local pub, something i never did, and met MPM that same night.... i remember Dawn telling me "what are you going to even talk about, that guy is dumber than a bag of rocks"... and of course, she was right...
I had lived with BRC for 9 years, completely in love but he did not love me in the same way i loved him yet i kept hoping.... early in my life, my career was in dancing, go go dancing, then stripping... the money was great but i had this fall at work, standing on a broken chair to get some of that huge pasty jewelry we wore from my locker, the chair buckled and i fell onto the back of it, breaking my neck, hence the pictures you see here of what it now looks like... i was living in Las Vegas and a friend of a friend told me that he knew a movie producer that was looking for extras, i could work one day, get my SAG card, then make 250 a day as an extra, no lines to learn, just bodies in the background to be seen, i thought it would be a great job for me, wouldnt put my neck into any risks and be easy money, so off i went, a full tank of gas and twenty bucks in my pocket... once i got there, i was to meet him at the Roxy.. a dive where rock and roll bands played, smelly place with torn leather on booths, the smell of vomit and alcohol everywhere, but it was a popular place, mainly for groupies and druggies who didnt give a shit about how it looked or smelled. i was not impressed and rather worried that i had made a big mistake... when i arrived at the 'set' of the 'movie' being shot, the main characters were without clothing, and there were these young girls giving head to the lead actors, didnt take me long to realize that the extras he was talking about was not a job for me and i didnt walk out, i ran to my car and peeled rubber leaving that place, got back to my friends place and called my friend back home and told him off got off the phone and cried. i then had half a tank of gas and still had my twenty bucks, how far could i get with that? when the friend of my friend got back he asked me what happened, i glared at him, and he said sorry thought you knew, of course i didnt and he knew i didnt, he never mentioned porn movies or i would never have taken that trip... he asked if i wanted to go get something to eat and we went to Canters Deli for lunch, which came to 18.28, tax and tip and yep, he forgot his wallet at home, so i then had 1.72 and less than a half a tank of gas...i think steam was flying out both my ears when BRC walked in, said hi to this friend of a friend and then talked to me, for about three hours, we went to dinner, talked more, talked about backgammon and he offered to play me 100 per game... i won the first, gammoned him on the second and then backgammoned him on the third, 500 dollars helped me to get home and pay a few bills... over the next few months the relationship grew, i would drive to LA and pick him up, i felt bad that he had this odd looking car, two toned brown shaped like a box, so i usually insisted on taking my grand prix, which was (in my mind) nicer looking and not embarrassing to be seen in. BRC thought it was very funny, and when i found out that it was a Rolls Royce i had one of my infamous stupid duh moments (something i still continue to experience)... i kept seeing BRC and by the 3rd month, i moved into his apartment... we took our first trip together, a business trip, selling art to dealers in Mexico..i learned a few things on that trip... the peso hit hard times, and the selling trip ended up being a vacation, we went to Acapulco and had a great time... until montezuma attacked me.... i knew not to drink the water instead i had lots of margaritas (ice is made from water one of those duh moments) and had lots of salads (washed in water) and what started out as an echo in the bathrooms next to the pool where everyone heard me shitting my brains out ... ended up with my first rather embarrassing moment out of many with BRC....