doing the happy dance on the puter :)

well, talk about happy days :)... got three different results from three different tests and they said in the third one, no cancer in the kidneys, just cysts and a kidney stone? well i have NO pain, never have, and i will take the third report over the other ones and i choose NO CANCER!!! yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
my spirits have lifted, am bit by bit changing my life around, where it is good for ME, i dont want to be brought down by anything or anyone, so i am changing things....
i told MPM that i wanted a divorce, i have said that to him before, but this time i am serious very very serious (not like i was joking when i said it before) and i mean it... he said the same thing he did before, the "i will quit drinking, i will throw it all away now, i will do anything" but i have heard that same song for 17 years, and it is just too late... that song, its too late baby now its too late though i really did try to make it something inside has died and i cant hide and i just cant fake it its too late baby, its too late....and i know that after he gets used to the idea he too will be much happier... he has called me some great names especially being married to him, like whore, cunt and a few others, and in all the 20 years we were married, i never once called him a drunken jerk, but our daughter has.... i just hope he keeps his relationships with the kids, he once told our daughter that if i divorced him that he would no longer be her dad, that really got to her, what kid wouldnt be upset with such news, and i told her that no matter what happened between the two of us, that she would ALWAYS be his daughter, that would never change... imagine telling your kid something so ignorant and hurtful? yeah, it is a good thing, and i will be happier, he will still have his beer.. what a sad existance....
anyway, today i feel incredible and relieved, no cancer in the kidneys YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH and a divorce in the works...

life is precious and way too short to live it miserably....i choose to live it happy and remove stress and miserable from it..........

more later